Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook

Yo momma's so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook

Yo momma's so old she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block

Yo momma's so old she owes Jesus a nickel.

Yo momma's so old she owes Moses a quarter

Yo momma's so old she's got Jesus' beeper number

Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so old when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch

Yo momma's so old when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing

Yo momma's so old when she reads the bible she reminisces

Yo momma's so old, her birthday's expired

Yo momma's so old, she co-wrote one of the ten commandments

Yo momma's so old, she coughs out dust

Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma's so old, she used to babysit Jesus.

Yo momma's so old I told her to act her age and the bitch died

Yo momma has one short leg and walks in circles

Yo momma has so much hair on her upper lip, she braids it

Yo momma's got three teeth... one in her mouth and two in her pocket.

Yo momma's got so many gaps in her teeth it looks like piano keys

Yo momma's got so many rings around belly she's gotta screw her underwear on

Yo momma's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail

Yo momma's so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth!

Yo momma's so fat she makes big bird look like a rubber duckie!

Yo momma's so fat when she walks in front of the T.V. you miss out on 3 commercials!

Yo momma's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes

Yo momma's so fat when she fell down and cut herself, gravy poured out

Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world

Yo momma's so, fat she plays pool with the planets.

Yo momma's so fat, when she weighs herself the scale says "To be continued..."

Yo momma's so fat when she sits on a dollar, blood rushes out off George Washington's nose!

Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo momma so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo momma so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo momma so nasty I called her and she gave me an ear infection

Yo momma like a T.V. set, even a three year old can turn her on!

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo momma so stupid she took a cup to see Juice

Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out

Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl

Yo momma's so ugly she makes onions cry

Yo momma's so ugly, her mom had to be drunk to breastfeed her!

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies

Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her showe